Sweetbreads In Real Time

Often forgotten and much maligned, these creamy and oyster-like morsels are apparently great for digestive disorders.

No — they are NOT testicles! (Though my Dad once convinced my sister they were when she ordered them by mistake… cue floods of tears.) And they are delicious: why do people who’ll happily eat liver, kidneys, meat or eggs choose to avoid these tender wee treats?

I sent out an email in a quick mini-survey, and I have to say that most respondents didn’t know what sweetbreads were. I got answers varying from chicken giblets, to bulls’ balls to brains. And they certainly hadn’t eaten them.

The truth is there are two types of sweetbreads: one, the neck sweetbread, comes from the thymus gland, while the other is a pancreatic sweetbread. Either way, “sweetbread” sounds a hell of a lot better than thymus or pancreas, so the name must be an ancient example of marketing!

Anyhoo, on behalf of the nation’s butchers and farmers, and in the name of offal, I’m flying the flag for them, and live blogging my cooking of them today. You may think the prep is a bit of a pallava, but — as with all cookery, amongst other things — let it work around YOU, not the other way around!

8am Me: “Hmm, Fred… fancy some sort of sweetbread dinner?”

8am (and 5 seconds) Fred: “Rather!”

8.05 Shower.

8.30 Answer emails. Have more coffee. Work on an idea for Andy.

11am Go to butcher in Barnes (the lovely J Seal) to buy 300g lambs sweetbreads.

11.20 Soak them in enough cold water to cover them.

12.30 Lunch — share a white pizza with Fred at Il Mascalzone… Yum.

1.30 Drain the sweetbreads and cover with fresh cold water. This is to rid them of excess blood.

2pm Get on with my day. Writing. Transcribing some Thai recipes. Handwashing. Making a banana allspice cake. Inventing buttered rum cup-cakes — YES!

6pm Pilates class with Elaine.

6.55 Ouch.

7pm Shower

7.15 Drain the sweetbreads and dry them well. Put them into a pan, cover with more cold water, with a squeeze of lemon juice and a pinch of salt. Bring to the boil and simmer gently for 10 minutes.

7.35 Drain them and plunge into ice water. Leave to cool.

7.40 Fry off some good bacon, chopped, in a pan. Drain and remove when crispy. Add a little butter and olive oil to the pan. Heat gently.

7.50 Peel membrane from cooled sweetbreads carefully — it got a bit faffy, so I wasn’t toooo careful! Dredge the sweetbreads, sliced if they are large, into some well beaten egg. Oh! Damn! We had the last 2 eggs for breakfast. Rewind. Dredge in cream and then into some seasoned flour.

7.55 Gently fry the sweetbreads until golden brown and crispy.

8.05 Throw some watercress and lambs lettuce onto plates, place the sweetbreads delicately on the side. Deglaze the pan with some Madeira and lemon juice and add 1 teaspoon of cayenne pepper. Add a wee knob of cold butter. Stir frantically whilst sipping red Saumur WITH THE OTHER HAND. Bubble up. Pour AROUND the sweetbreads. Scatter with the bacon.

8.15 Pour a glass of wine — rather than the Saumur we drank, I think a white Burgundy would be best — eat sweetbread salad with chunks of French bread.

This serves 4 people as a starter, or 2 as a main course for about £1—£1.50 per head!

K xx

PS — The madeira can be replaced with Marsala or a sweet sherry.